Overcoming Impostor Syndrome: Strategies for Professional Growth

[00:00:14]blue hey everyone um we're gonna be waiting for a few more people to sign on probably start this around 1105 once we uh have everyone signed in now i got you i couldn't hear you oh you were you were muted too hey everyone hey cindy um we're gonna start probably 1105 maybe a couple minutes after just going to wait for some people to roll in and then i'm going to put all these names into the name generator to raffle off some prizes tandy how are you doing i'm pretty good how are you doing good i like that wall you're sitting in front oh yeah so i'm still working on it see it's not like all the way done but i was just doing a background for my office so i like that yeah it from um amazon and it's like foamy so it also is gonna help with um and stuff so nice very smart kind of empty in here so it's still echoey but um i'm working on the home office setup someone joining us from india that's awesome wow so if everyone that's in already attendees want to tell us where you're from that'd be awesome really want to know where everyone is right now in the world well just type it in the chat asheville north carolina i think we'll get a lot of that cleveland ohio wildemar california never heard of that phoenix marion ontario canada very cool all over the place san antonio texas beaver falls pennsylvania that's where you're from jacqueline okay i knew you were in pennsylvania i just assumed pittsburgh yeah i'm 45 minutes north of pittsburgh everyone like when i say beaver falls everyone's like where what and when i say pittsburgh everyone's like oh yeah i know where that's at so it's easier just to say pittsburgh yeah that makes sense okay let me make sure that this is recording it is that's a good thing yeah we're gonna wait a couple minutes um there's like 70 people registered i i assume a quarter of those people will show up to this so then we'll get going if um if anyone's listening that's interested in the raffle to get a free coaching session for myself please put your name in the chat um that way i can put it into my little random name generator on my end and i'm gonna put my website in the chat too for people that need that information shell meltman ariel would you do me a favor and just write down first names of people who are typing their names in thanks michelle sarah larissa michelle m sorry maria karen cool cool cool thanks for spending your sundays with us for an hour um definitely appreciate it and cindy and jacqueline i appreciate you being here too it's nice to see smiling familiar faces when you're doing stuff like this definitely it helps a lot i had some messages of like i can't make this today i can't i can't be a panelist i'm like it's it's fine but if i only had one person and they backed out last minute i would be like oh no okay probably wait a couple more minutes and then we will get started is your weekends going ladies pretty good i've been putting up this background so that's taken most of the weekend is that coming in like sheets what is that two by two squares okay yeah interesting that's a good idea i've never seen that before i like it because it's just so it's plain it's aesthetically pleasing it does look like it would absorb some sound yeah yeah yeah i'm gonna get some um shelves and a little bit of decoration to make it not so plain but i it always makes me so happy when i can see the hobbit hole behind york arielle's not thrilled with that but yeah are you taking inspiration from ernesto's posts about all of his like rooms that he has in his house to do therapy and coaching sessions because his stuff is pretty outrageous yeah yeah i love all the ideas that he gives everyone just to have a good set up for doing things like this and for online therapy yeah he's uh he's got it down pretty good his little camera set up with like nine cameras three mics six lights it's like uh i got one ring light and i'm still trying to figure out how to position that i don't know how he does it yeah ariel's been rehearsing for plays in the house so she has a ring light and moving it all around just the best lighting and capture that it's actually up there with him i don't know if you want to turn it on i mean you might you can't stand the i mean you look beautiful yeah it looks bright the light on fair enough fair enough i know you hate it it's too bright it's really all right all right so for those of you who are in attendance i see trickling in still pretty slowly give another minute or two i was just telling other people that if you want to be entered into the raffle to win a free coaching session with myself just put your first name and last initial in the chat if you just joined feel free to just tell us where you are um in the world we've got people in here from india from canada from california all over the place so i'll be raffling that off at the end after we do some like questions and comments and before we get going i'm gonna introduce our panelists and panelists you probably didn't expect that but i just want you all to introduce yourselves who you are what you do and where you live so whoever wants to go before we get started i'll go hi everybody i am ariel casao uh so i yes i am patrick's wife um i'm downstairs so i'm in ashford with him um welcome to the seminar thanks for joining us did you get pablo jay from balsam and c for the raffle team can you can you let me write down the names i love you go ahead cool i got it hi i'm jacqueline metodic i am located in beaver falls pennsylvania outside of pittsburgh i am a trauma and grease therapist and i've been in private practice for about five years hi everyone i'm cindy norton and i live in asheville north carolina and i'm a couples therapist here in asheville and i love doing premarital counseling and relationship coaching and other couples therapy type things and i also have a business called mountain practice journeys where i do private practice coaching and custom web design and courses for therapists yeah i want to say thank you all to be here and then to participate and if anyone is need of web design or coaching services cindy's really fantastic her web design and her logo design is is really top-notch and i highly recommend her really creative and just really a joy to work with so we're gonna get started i still see people trickling in and we'll kind of circle back to some of the stuff we talked about at the end so i'm going to share my screen and then we're going to get going and ladies if one of you can just let me know once i share that you can see what i'm looking at that would be fantastic yeah so today we are talking about imposter syndrome and what that means how it comes up how that impacts us in our professional and personal life and the ways that we can kind of navigate through that so that we can live our best lives and work towards achieving the things that we want and even starting the career path that we feel really scared to jump into or changing something significant even as i'm reading this i'm having major imposter syndrome okay so i am patrick casall i'm a mental health and addictions therapist in asheville north carolina travel influencer and a therapist coach and strategist i'm an owner and creator of casal coaching and consulting resilient mind counseling and empowered escape so my story with imposter syndrome in particular is a pretty significant one i think it haunts me almost every day of my life i've been in private practice now since 2017.

[00:10:41]i think i held on to my agency job several years longer than i should have just for fear that i would not be successful out on my own that i was not competent enough proficient enough uh professionally developed enough i didn't have enough experience and i certainly wasn't gonna make it that's certainly something that came up very often was like if you're out on your own you don't know what you're doing how are you going to get clients this is not going to be something that's going to work out for you and i think we all get to our breaking point eventually when we feel like we need something to be different that something to be different moment came just after working like 60 hour weeks being on call all the time feeling guilty to put pto requests in feeling really overwhelmed at my job not enjoying being a clinician anymore i just felt like i was going through the motions and feeling really burnt out i was always waiting to take like the next time off or the next even chunk of time just to get away just to decompress and reset i finally made the decision to like start slowly start my private practice at night and i started getting clients here and there and it was really exciting i was like wow i get to go to my own office see clients on my own terms charge them what i feel like i'm worth that's a whole nother story with this right and i have freedom and flexibility and creativity again and i started having all of these ideas but yet i still kept telling myself it's not time yet you can't do this you won't be successful at this this is just a fluke you're just lucking into these clients they're not going to be around consistently all of those narratives going on and eventually i just decided i was like i'm going to put my notice in i gave like a 60-day notice which was outrageous i i don't i was a supervisor and it just felt appropriate but it was way too long and um i worked it out and i was doing private practice on the side and i'm like oh this is going to be great life is going to be really good i leave i go away i go to scotland for about two and a half weeks i realize i don't have paid time off anymore and that becomes really scary all of the clients that i had kind of obtained and accumulated through that time either moved out of town discontinued therapy or just felt like they weren't they didn't want to come back consistently and i was like oh no i just made the biggest mistake of my life needless to say three years later my practice has been full for a very long time i don't get that fear as much as i used to but that impostor syndrome still comes up often almost daily especially when stepping out into a new venture especially when betting on yourself feeling like you're gonna put yourself out to the world and be judged and seen people are going to find you out for being fraudulent or incompetent or like you don't deserve to be here it happens very often i think in all professions but especially the helping professions and the creative professions where we are kind of exposing ourselves in a way where we're vulnerable where we maybe have insecure backgrounds and anxious attachment styles and we just feel like we get very overwhelmed by people seeing us for who we are so i step into this coaching profession to help therapists build their businesses and start their own private practices it's been something i've been thinking about for three years every time i thought i should launch this i kept telling myself reasons that i shouldn't what do you have to offer that's different why you there are there are already tons of coaches out there doing this work why would anyone hire you people are just going to find out that you have nothing to say so that thing that comes up for you that voice that inner critic that perfectionist tendency of like it's never good enough that's what we're talking about here and i will say it's real and it's really intense and it can be debilitating so the imposter phenomenon term was actually researched and coined by dr pauline clance and suzanne iams in 1974.

[00:15:40]this came after they interviewed successful and accomplished women in their fields and discovered many of the women did not feel or believe that they're set that their success was real that they felt like intellectual frauds this a lot of the research around this is around women and people of color and a lot of minority groups the research kind of states that women racial minorities and lgbtqi individuals may feel like they're living a high achievers version of the sesame street song one of these things is not like the other individuals who don't match the majority of a group or culture often feel illegitimate fake despite their qualifications and accomplishments and this this research correlates to being in a white man's world and having to measure up and feeling very often like i just kind of locked into my surrounding or situation obviously with more research we realized like this phenomenon and syndrome impacts a lot of different people not just minorities not just women not just people of color not just the lgbtqi in uh population i'm a white man i'm feeling impostor syndrome just giving this presentation it happens to a lot of us but that is a that's a lot of the research is done on that a lot of this comes from childhood and development and attachment style so getting conflicting messages at home you're so smart you get an a on a paper or on a report card early on and your parents tell you you're such a smart kid you're so smart you're so much smarter than so and so it puts this pressure and expectation like this is who i am this is how i have to identify and achievement is very important for me if i don't achieve to these expectations then i am a failure a lot of the conflicting message is like you get a d on a paper you get in trouble in class because maybe you are struggling with some sensory overload what's wrong with you why can't you just get this together why can't you be like other kids i thought you were so smart almost kind of minimizing the fact that like other qualities are equally as important as being scholastically in tune or inclined so the recognition that it's not just about getting that a on that paper i would love for parents to send the message of okay this didn't go well but you tried really hard and that is that's what's courageous that's what creates character because that's what creates resiliency the ability to fail or not succeed and get back up and that process is the process that we're talking about here again just conflicting messages praise versus criticism you know overly praising accomplishments and then being very critical when something doesn't go well sending these mixed messages pretty consistently so that the child doesn't really understand where they fit in and then there becomes this almost like perfectionistic development and mentality of i need to do more i need to be better i need to get an a i need to exceed these expectations over and over and over again and that just creates this loop where it's impossible to get out of to create these unrealistic expectations for yourself so that you're like and an a minus isn't good enough a 93 isn't good enough i should have done better in that soccer game constantly striving for that praise constantly trying to avoid that criticism failure and achievement again i think this is so important when we're talking about this imposter syndrome because really what we're saying is if i fail there's no coming back from that so how can i even try and if the only thing i'm shooting for is achievement how do we even measure that how do we measure success we can't quantify the ability to try we cannot put a number on that but we can understand that while we are going through that process you're developing all of these skills and traits to make you more successful in the future because you're building resiliency ways that imposter syndrome shows up i know for me am i good enough is certainly the main theme that's uh the voice that's constantly in my head so everyone may have something different it may show up like i'm an expert or i have to be an expert at something in order for me to do it so that you're repeating the behavior over and over and over again and you're not asking for help because i'm supposed to know the information and you can see how troubling that can be because that means that you're so involved in that process that you can't see anything else and that you can hold yourself to these unrealistic standards that really don't allow you to take a break take a step back see things from a different perspective being a soloist feeling like i've got to do this on my own if i can't do this on my own there's something wrong with me perfectionism if you're if you're a recovering perfectionist or a current perfectionist you know drop your name in that chat i think we're not alone in that this feeling like nothing's ever good enough i have to improve something and edit it and tweak it constantly even this presentation when i gave it a couple of weeks ago i was up until like two in the morning revising slides and information and then eventually it was just like this is a free presentation it's okay for this to be the outcome and this to be the final result of this it can always be edited and improved going forward being achievement oriented um working towards achievement constantly feeling like nothing's ever good enough once again um just kind of recognizing like my value is derivative and correlated to the achievement that i have completely losing sight of being present um completely losing sight of the things that really really matter in life this fraud alert is uh there's a picture that resonates with me where someone's like you know i feel fraudulent i feel like i'm going to be found out to not be good enough or competent enough feeling incapable like an imposter the just luck one is a big one that a lot of people don't realize like i just lucked into my success it was just because a b and c lined up that's the only reason i'm here what do i have to say that's different i think that's prevents a lot of us from stepping out into who we really are professionally feeling like why would i try this if it's already been tried before and we lose sight of the fact that we all have different approaches and voices and perspectives on things somebody else already did that that's another one just feeling like same it's pretty similar to what do i have to say that's different like why would i go into private practice if someone else is already doing that why would i become a business coach if there are other business coaches out there that kind of thought process this quote when i read it really really resonated with me in terms of what we're talking about and it's a quote from maya angelou saying i have written 11 books but each time i think uh oh they're going to find out now i've run a game on everybody and they're going to find me out i want everyone to just sit with that for a second and think about what that's like i have written 11 books and still not feeling good enough still feeling fraudulent still feeling less than still feeling like they're gonna find me out eventually and discredit me if you can if that lands for you and if you're in this i would imagine that it does that's just hopefully a normalization process to feel like from such an accomplished incredible human being who still felt that way after all of these accolades because it just never felt real it just never felt like enough i pulled up some quotes from famous actors and actresses and people who we would deem very successful and i think this is important because this is this creates the recognition that we're not alone these are people who have had what we would call massive success you think why would anyone want to see me again in a movie and i don't know how to act anyway so why am i doing this from meryl streep jody foster's quote when i won the oscar i thought it was a fluke i thought everybody would find out and they'd take it back they'd come to my house knocking on the door excuse me we meant to give that to someone else that was going to meryl streep tom hanks's quote no matter what we've done there comes a point where you think how did i get here when are they going to discover that i am in fact a fraud and take everything away from me feeling fraudulent feeling incompetent feeling vulnerable and less than feeling like my voice doesn't matter and why should i even try that's the common theme here with all of this stuff ryan reynolds is a personal favorite of mine especially for deadpool and his quote of i went to a lot of events this year because of deadpool you get into a tux and try to look like a grown-up but to be honest i still feel like a freckled-faced kid faking it until i make it faking it till i make it comes up a lot with this like we just have to pretend that we feel confident in order to move forward i don't love that mentality because i would rather have you kind of embrace the things that feel uncomfortable sit with them recognize that they exist being seen such a major trigger for shame and vulnerability and feeling insecure you know stepping out into a new world professionally personally a new job a new career choice a new business venture idea what does that mean to you to have to put that information out to the world it feels really scary it feels like i don't want people to see me do this because then they're going to judge me they're going to find me out i would imagine that all of you have a team behind you friends family colleagues co-workers mentors supervisors etc people rooting for you telling you how great you are at something encouraging you to do something different but i know personally that doesn't always feel genuine if you don't believe it about yourself then it seems like it discounts or discredits everyone else's input or suggestion or encouragement when they say you can do this you've done x y and z and you're like you don't know me like that like i can't do any of this i just lucked into that so i would encourage everyone to really kind of tap into that support system and network and really try hard to just like embrace the feelings because if we believe that people genuinely care about us we have to imagine that their words are authentic and real that they're not just blowing smoke for the heck of it because if they're really in our corner we would hope that they would tell us the truth some techniques to help with this stuff and obviously there are many more than just the ones i've wrote down saying yes to opportunity i cannot stress this enough with how important this is saying yes to things that are new different scary unsettling i don't know if any of you have ever said yes to something because you were really excited and then you started to have that internal dialogue about all the reasons you actually shouldn't do it and then maybe canceled last minute or maybe created an excuse to not follow through and i really want to encourage you to say yes to things even if we start out small like the movie yes man with jim carrey start out small say yes to opportunities coffee dates networkings presentation opportunities training opportunities opportunities to grow professionally but especially the ones that kind of feel a little uncomfortable i started doing these imposter syndrome series because it's really uncomfortable for me to be on camera speaking to other people but the more you do it the more familiar it becomes the more accessible it becomes to reach into your resources and to calm yourself to create some regulation in your nervous system at the beginning of this my heart was beating like 100 miles a minute right now i feel pretty good saying yes to opportunity i got asked to be a speaker at a conference in november and my first instinct was hell no don't do that you don't know what they're you don't know what you're talking about i said yes i i didn't just blindly say yes but i said yes and it's gonna be a struggle and it's gonna be overwhelming and i'm going to feel like an imposter but i'm going to see it through because that's how we grow that's how we change that's how we kind of take the power back from whichever voice you hear inside of your head self-compassion i know for helping professionals we we preach this to our clients we struggle with it ourselves self-compassion treating yourself like a stranger or a friend or a colleague however you would treat that person i always ask my clients when they're being hard on themselves what would you do if this was your friend billy or your girlfriend or whoever oh i would totally understand and i would be empathetic and i would be supportive because you should be kind to yourself okay let's turn that around let's recognize that we didn't know how to ride a bike before we learned how to ride a bike we had to fall down a bunch of times we had to get back up i know for myself like i don't know how to do things until someone teaches me how to do them or i try them and they don't work and i try them again we can't just go into a process thinking that we're just going to create this level of expertise from moment one talking about it get a therapist have a mentor a colleague a friend a partner just putting it out to the world gives you more power over this imposter syndrome and phenomenon being able to say with confidence like this is what i'm feeling i don't know why it's coming up for me or i do and i'm just putting it out there right like it kind of takes it out of our our body and our system and it feels less scary track your successes no matter what kind of person you are if you're a list person if you're really organized if you're like kind of like chaotic in your pro approach and process track your successes find a way to write them down or to remember them post-it notes google drive files on your computer a notepad on your phone a piece of paper whatever little things like this went really well for me i got this job i did this thing i put myself out there really uncomfortably anything that feels like a success and they can be my newt but we want to build up a bank of successes so that when we're struggling when we're feeling depleted we can reach into that bank and grab one of those as an example and resource it so that we can regulate our nervous system we can combat that inner critic voice and we can really create that motivation for ourselves to move forward knowing your triggers really important just knowing what sets you off knowing what creates this voice to amplify really knowing like in my head what are x y and z that create imposter syndrome for you what is it stepping out and doing something different new ideas etc just being normalizing your trigger process like really getting comfortable with saying these are the things that make me uncomfortable and i know that they're going to come up creating a new script especially when you're starting something new so for us us perfectionists that struggle with imposter syndrome our script is typically if i do this it better be perfect and i'm not going to stop editing and tweaking until it is i want you to create a script that almost says like the first time i do this i'm not going to do well it's not gonna go well for me and that's okay and then referencing back to that because once again just like the bike learning process if you're trying something new or different or foreign or uncomfortable there's no way for you to master that right away there's no way for you to be an expert or to feel comfortable so i just really want to encourage that the last time i gave this presentation my friend spoke up and said i kind of think of it as like i'm not a harry potter fan but she used the bogart example in harry potter play play is an important technique for combating imposter syndrome so if you have this irrational fear or this thing that feels really really scary making it playful making it joyful making it kid-like making it funny to kind of combat so that it has less power over you so it doesn't feel as scary so that you can kind of say huh like this is silly this is stupid like i can make fun of this thing or i can make this childlike because childlike state and play for us is really important because when we're talking about imposter syndrome and phenomenon we're really talking about the inner child piece of us who has been really scarred emotionally who wasn't developed and nurtured the way that we need it to be developed and nurtured and cared for i like these images you know just falling down getting back up when i used to go skiing i lived in new york growing up i fell down all the time i didn't know how to stop i would fall down on purpose because i was scared that i would get keep going faster and then i would get hurt so falling down allows you to kind of recollect your thoughts pick yourself up and try again if the option is try again or give up i think most of us have had a lot of examples in our in our lives where we felt like giving up and we got we tried again we picked ourselves up from the dirt off the ground it was hard we felt like it was going to be impossible and yet you saw it through whether that was going to graduate school taking a licensing test getting a job as a clinician right like i didn't know how to do an assessment or diagnose or do a note appropriately or hold space for a client or handle crisis situations like i had to learn those things and at first those things felt really scary and really overwhelming but you become more comfortable with the process the more that you try just like these images that life begins at the end of your comfort zone if we're always living in complacency and comfort we're not growing and really not comparing yourself to others i know that other people's paths are going to be different i know that there are other voices out there doing similar things that you want to do i also understand that there are other people who may accomplish more than you do that's okay everyone's situation is unique and individualized so it would be really impossible to say that my life should turn out exactly like his life or her life because we don't know everyone's situation we don't know what resources they have and we don't know all of the factors so it's really impossible to compare ourselves to other people it doesn't do us any good and social media unfortunately really empath amplifies that desire to like i need to take as many vacations as so and so i need to do this the way this person does like find your own voice find what works for you because what works for you maybe doesn't work for x y and z and that's really important to remember i really like this quote i'm sure most of you know who albert einstein is or was anyone who never made a mistake never tried anything new i want peop want you all to think about that anyone who never made a mistake never tried anything new we've all made mistakes and i'm sure a lot of them have come when we've tried to push ourselves out of our comfort zones or do something different or challenging and i want you to think about those moments the moments that felt challenging and scary and overwhelming and how you moved through those things and what the other side of that process looks like so that you can kind of go back and reflect upon that the recognition that like oh yeah i have been here before this stuff is really hard or challenging or scary but i've gotten through it before and i will get through it again we need those reminders just believing in yourself when you feel like you can't retraining the pathways in our brain instead of defaulting to negative thinking patterns trying really hard to have positive affirmation and self-care isn't selfish doing the things that you need to recharge disconnect restore and ground yourself so that you can come back to the process that feels really scary and overwhelming with a clear head and new energy just really believing that success is not a measurable thing this is not something that is an a on a paper you know a trophy at a competition so much more about the process than the finish line it is about training for the marathon not finishing it it's about the process that we kind of put ourselves in i just want to say thank you for watching this and listening to this i hope it was helpful um and i think that for a lot of us helping professionals or entrepreneurs or creative people we struggle with this and it's okay that's okay for us to struggle with these things and to admit that coming back to this room just kind of want to check in with everyone see if there's any questions and we can get this raffle going i appreciate this panelist anything on your minds while you're sitting here see a question from teresa teresa what you got yeah and that's that's okay this isn't all childhood trauma specific i think that you know some of us just become perfectionists and we tend to kind of place a heavy emphasis on um achievement in general and that can be conditioned via social media that can be conditioned just be by our lifestyle our culture our culture puts a heavy heavy emphasis on achievement and if you're not doing more then you're not doing enough so i don't think it's all childhood specific by any means um i do think society puts a heavy emphasis on achieving so if anyone has questions or comments an ace adult scale yeah an ace adult scale would be good i think that would certainly be helpful um panelist how what are you thinking what are your thoughts on this stuff um i mean it happens all the time like you said it never goes away it may be that you start doing something and you feel really comfortable and you get really good at it you have a lot more confidence and it doesn't show up as much but the minute that i try anything new it comes back and it's like well who are you to do this and you're not going to be good at this what what will other people think of you are you going to do it right so a lot of that perfectionism comes in so yeah i've been experiencing it as i grow my businesses every single time i try something new i almost don't follow through with it but everything that has happened as far as growth there's been a period of being terrified and just doing it anyway and then the benefits come later yeah and that's kind of the process is the terrified but doing it anyway um and cindy and i have talked about this for years because cindy and i live in asheville and have both went into private practice around the same time and cindy started doing coaching before i did and i kept telling her like i don't want to launch a coaching business because you're already doing coaching that's the kind of mentality that we can have is like other people are doing this so i should not yeah the same way when i started mine because i'm like oh jane carter and allison pereira they live in asheville and they're already doing coaching so like who am i to start we don't need another coach but then it's like every single person has something different to offer definitely definitely well said ariel exactly every like for me it comes down to i i'm gonna be found out like i don't i'm not smart enough i don't know the terminology enough if i go and train there's somebody in that audience that's gonna know more than me and question me and then i'm gonna be stuck it's that for me it's complete fear and like i said before this profession i wasn't like that i would get up i would do things i would go for it like i i did perform i had no issues as soon as i got in this profession it was like to go out in front of peers and to give part of my story or to make myself vulnerable out there that's terrifying to me and it i stand in my own way because i know i have the experience i have the education i have a lot of things to offer and give but man do i get in my own way i i stop myself i have been asked to do so many things and i say no yeah i think that's that's so insightful and thank you for sharing that i feel the exact same way and i think it's because in this profession when you're and even in the creative professions that have some commonality we are giving a part of ourselves away all the time so we're exposing ourselves and creating more vulnerability pretty often so that it can feel more raw it can feel like we're going to be more scrutinized in terms of how we're going to come across and it's unfortunate because what you're saying and i'm looking at the comments like other people are like yes this is this is a thing like we're all experiencing this so i want people to think about that too like as our stories are being told and we're feeling vulnerable and uncomfortable we're not alone in that because i i imagine that almost everyone in this profession is feeling this to some degree where they're like yeah this is this is how i experience this in in this way or that way so ariel what are your thoughts considering all right my my wife is an actress and i know i've seen her rehearsals i've seen her beat the hell out of herself saying like this is not good enough nobody should watch this etc tell me what you're thinking um well i'm so i am trying to transition into becoming an actress professionally i should start there um i am currently in the criminal justice field and i've been in this field for about 10 years um so i still deal with i absolutely know how to do my job and i can do it with my eyes closed but i still have issues and have um and scared to step up and do things and answer questions and help other people so i deal with it every day and now that i'm trying to take on being an actress it is very very hard to sit and do things over and over again and then watch myself do those things and i have to critique myself it's very very rare for me to be like yes that right there that's why people want to see you don't nobody want to see me at least that's what my head says but um yeah i mean it's it's all around it happens every day i do feel like i am good at both things but i'm constantly learning and i obviously have it in the back of my head all the time that nobody is going to hire me and nobody wants to see me on tv or in movies or all that so it's the same thing every day it's scary it's hard it's something completely new so yeah walking away from something so solid to something that's absolutely not is hard so yeah thank you for that and i think that betting on ourselves and taking that leap of faith of like it's gonna work out for me that's where we can really start to struggle in in our mentality of why me why would i be successful at this i need to i need to play it safe like i can't bet on myself for this so i i just want everyone to hear that we all experience this stuff and it's really real and it's really intense so i appreciate everyone being here just to let everyone know that's in the chat um i do private practice coaching for therapists so if any therapists are in this chat looking to start their private practice or want coaching my website is in the chat i have a six-week course that i'm selling in september so certainly something to uh to take a look at um i'm gonna do this raffle situation it's gonna take me a second because i gotta punch in everyone's names so if ariel if you can tell me names that we have um okay so i have jess and then i have maria a michelle m i think there's two michelle m's that i saw oh are there two okay i didn't see they i only saw one so two michelle m's um and then sarah l larissa in and then i'm going to sir s-r-i sorry sorry and then karen d and then pablo j is what i have and if i didn't say your name type it in real real fast yeah anyone is interested in getting into the raffle for your name bethany um i'm gonna do that right now we're gonna raffle off a free individual coaching session kelly i see your name um give it another second just in case anyone's typing or getting that i will share my screen and i will do this i found a random raffle name generator i don't know how i don't know how good this is going to work but we're going to see um okay that looks like it so let me share my screen we'll do this real quick and i'll get in touch with you so everyone's name is right here on this and we're just going to start that and it kind of randomizes the names this is cute and the winner is jenny congratulations jenny and i might do one more just because jenny's already in my course so i'll jenny i will give you that extra coaching session but you are getting a bunch of coaching sessions so we'll do one more just in case hey patrick that i was going to put my name in but since i'm also a coach i'm not going to take that away from someone else but i'm feeling some major imposter syndrome about something new things that i want to do with my business but we can talk about that sometime definitely and i'm you know happy to support karen d you are the other winner so karen if you can put your email address in this chat that way i can get in touch with you um and jenny i'll obviously be in touch with you uh jenny's taking my class all the way from alaska which has been really cool except for the time difference um probably for her not for me all right so everyone i appreciate this i did in fact record this today like i did not do the first time which was a major imposter syndrome moment for me to realize like it had gone well and then i looked at it and i was like oh no needless to say um thank you for your time feel free to follow me at cassell coaching that dog is cute but also gremlin or devil he's a devil dad yeah so everyone have a good sunday and a good weekend and um yeah thank you melissa melissa where are you where are you coming from again i'm sorry i missed so many comments in this moving to new jersey okay gotcha very cool oh ernesto's in here too i did not realize he was in here um neither did i yeah thanks everyone um really appreciate it once again i'm gonna do another one probably in a few weeks so just keep an eye out for that uh i'm just reading through these comments real quick and yeah thanks for coming from india that's fantastic siri how did you find this training just curious instagram facebook how did that work out for you facebook okay cool right now you're a virtual assistant she must be doing something right um everyone take care and um karen i will get in touch with you and jenny i'll see you in class and everyone have a good weekend panelists thank you maria i will let you know when the next one is for sure and uh yeah thanks everyone have a good day